The biggest collection of Rajnikanth jokes

With all due respect to one of the greatest actors of world, here is the collection of popular jokes on Rajnikanth:

• When Rajnikanth was a student teachers used to bunk classes.
• Rajnikant can make calls from his iPod to his iPad
• In the back of the book of world records, it says “All records are held by Rajnikant. The ones listed are in second place.”
• Contrary to popular belief, Rajnikant cannot fly. He just jumps and chooses when to come down.
• If Rajnikant gets into a car accident (yeah right) His car will need some airbags to protect it from him.
• Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what rajnikanth can do for your country.
• Even lord “voldemort” refers 2 Rajini as “He who must not be named”
• Once Rajnikant went to U.S. And met Pamela Anderson..he got desperate and wanted to masturbate..
  So he went behind a building and did it for few minutes. That building is now known as THE WHITE HOUSE
• Great mystery solved : the missing piece of apple in Apple’s Logo was eaten by Rajnikant!
• Once Rajnikaant signed a cheque… and the Bank bounced
• When GOD is shocked he exclaims “Oh my Rajnikaant!”
• One day, NASA scientists found something flying in mars. they started shouting – ‘life on mars, life on mars’
  later they found that Rajnikant was flying a kite on mars from earth.
• Girlfriend: Mera koi picha karte rehta hai…
  Rajni: ok..
  Next day…
  Gf: Hey… where the hell is My Shadow????

• Someday Rajnikanth got angry with her mother and threw away her dinner set, oday people refer to them as UFO.
• Time and tide waits for Rajnikanth…! Mind it..!
• Once Death had ‘near Rajnikant experience’ !
• All scientist failed but Rajni didn’t…
  Q-which liquid turns solid on heating?
  Ans-DOSA…
• Rajnikant’s ammunition suddenly got over and a villain came in front of him and instantly died because,
  Rajnikant shouted “DHISHKYAAOON”
• A astrologer was boasting himself to all the people that he can answer any question asked to him. Then one man asked him “when will rajni die”. He answered “I have doubt that even god can answer that question”
• Once James bond shoot a person and said I’m bond, James bond.
  climax:~
  but the person catches the bullet and throw at bond & bond dies
  the person says
  “i m kanth, rajnikanth”
• Some magicans can walk on water, Rajnikant can swim through land.
• Once rajnikanth gave kiss to his girlfriend Infront of a kid. Now the kid is known as.
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  Emran hashmi.
• Rajnikant knows the exact value of Pi upto a Googol
• Worldcup schedule 2011
  GROUP A
  AUS,PAK,SL,NZ, ZIM, CANADA,KENYA
  GROUP B
  IND,SA,ENG,WI,BAN,IRLAND,NETHERLAND.
  GROUP C
  RAJNIKANTH….
• The world is not ending in 2012…. Rajnikant just bought a laptop with 3 yrs warranty!
• Once a unknown child came to Rajnikant’s house.
  When the boy entered,
  rajnikant askd ‘ae kaun’?? umm ?? ummm??  And today that boy is famous and known as ‘AKON’
•  Once a guy winked at Rajnikant’s wife, Rajni twisted his limbs and broke his eyelid.
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  We now know him as Baba Ramdev..
• Finally scientists get success in finding actual reason of tsunami
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  Rajnikant was swimming in the ocean that day!
• Once upon a time rajnikant used tooth powder to get strong teeths.
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  Now that powder is used as “CEMENT”
• Why did rajnikant buy an acre of land with 4 wells in each corner…?…because he wanted to play carrom…
• Rajnikanth went 2 world cooking championship .. of course rajni won.But
  guess
  what did he made in final??? Lal mirchi ki meethi kheer.
• Rajnikanth bought 2 elephants, 2 camels and 2 horses from zoo?
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  .Y?
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  To Play chess!!!!!!
• Once Rajnikanth hit a boy on the nose..,
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  That boy today is known as,
  ‘Himesh Reshammiya’!!
• The newly got symbol for the rupee is actually Rajnikhant’s signature.
• Once a boy was playing cricket outside rajinikant’s house & the ball hit rajnikant’s window. Rajnikant took the ball and told the boy to play slowly……
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  that boy is none other than Rahul Dravid!!
• Kal Pure INDIA Me Light Chali Gayi,
  kyO Pata Hai..
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  kyO Ki..
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  Rajnikant Bhai mObile Charge Kar Rahe The . .
• Why Airtel changed their Logo??
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  Because Rajnikanth didn’t like it
• CAT is outdated. Now the students have to prepare for RAT.
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  Wondering what it is?
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  RAJNIKANTH APTITUDE TEST
• The movie Krrish is loosely based on Rajnikanth’s life.
• The death of Micheal jackson is revealed
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  The day before he died
  He saw Rajanikanths Dance
  And he got shocked
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  Because rajani had performed “SUN WALK”
• Rajnikant is the only person in world
  who can make his girlfriend admit her mistake !!
• When RAJNIKANTswitch on his AC without closing the door.
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  Winter starts in INDIA.?
• Barish hui aur bheeg gaye hum..
  wah wah
  Barish hui aur bheeg gaye hum…
  wah wah
  Aage kya hua? Hona kya tha, Rajnikant ne phoonk mari, Aur sukh gaye hum!!
• Once a guy tried to flirt rajnikants girl friend and now that guy is known as .
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  BOBBY DARLING.
• My laptop is now totally safe from trojans and virus… I just installed RAJNIKANTH Antivirus in my system !!
• Once Rajnikanth was practicing for a spelling test… the rough sheet he used is known as…
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  OXFORD DICTIONARY
• Rajnikanth’s calendar goes straight from march 30 to April 2.
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  No one fools Rajnikanth !!!
• India actually didn’t have 50,000 crores for organizing the Commonwealth games Rajnikanth gave it to them!
• Corporate Slogans as they should be:
  Impossible is Rajnikanth – Adidas
  The car in front is Rajnis – Toyota.
  Rajnikanth at Work – General Electric (GE)
  I am Rajnikanth! What? Rajnikanth I am – Reebok
  Connecting Rajnikanth – Nokia
  Hello Rajnikanth – Motorola
  Express Rajnikanth – Airtel Cellular Service India
  A Rajnikanth can change your life – Idea Cellular India
  Do you… rajnikanth!? – Yahoo
  High Performance, Delivered – Accenture for Rajnikanth
• Rajnikanth swaps his visitng cards at ATMs to get cash
• One day Rajnikanth bunked school, now its known as Sunday.
• Once rajni sent an sms to Einstein . It read – E=MC2
• Rajanikant used a rough copy wen he was 5 years old…the copy now is called….
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  WIKIPEDIA..!!
• Once Rajnikanth donated blood to a very small, thin and malnourished child…… Today that child is..”The great Khali” !!!
• Once Rajnikant mumbled some numbers in his sleep. Those numbers are today collectively known as the “LOG TABLE.”
• The only reason ShahRukh Khan stuttered in the movie Darr is because he saw Rajnikanth behind Juhi Chawla!!
• Why “EARTH QUAKE” occurs on Earth…?
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  because
  At that time RAJNIKANTH mobile is on vibrating mode..;-)
• Pyramids of Egypt are actually not built by egyptians those are
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  Rajnikant’s primary school geometry projects
• Rajnikant got admission in medical profession. And gave viva exam. In the end he asked the examiner to come back after preparation.
• Once Bill Gates went to Rajnikant. For what? To ask for DVD of Windows 8.
• Rajnikanth puts his pants on two legs at a time.
• Once a stupid boy was stuck on a question in an examination……..so,, he copied some stuff from a boy sitting next to him who was actually rajnikant…..
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  today that stupid boy is known by the name “William Shakespeare”……..
• An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai … Rajnikant stopped it in Lonawala.
• Thousands of years ago Rajinikanth came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its descendents now have white hair.
• Once Rajnikant participated in Bike race. Don’t even try 2 guess wat happened. Rajnikant won d race on Neutral gear. Mind it anna..
• Once Rajnikanth was on Hot Seat of KBC and Computer needed Lifeline to Choose the question.
• Ek bhoot amavas ki raat me 12 baje dusre bhoot ko samjha raha tha…
  tu dare mat~~~~~
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  Rajnikant Vajnikant jaisa kuch nahi hota!
• Why does rajnikanth wear sunglasses?
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  To protect the sun from his eyes!
• If ever you want to pinch Rajnikant,The best thing you can do is launch a missile at him.
• USA POWER vs INDIAN POWER
  USA-
  10000 nuclear weapons, 600000 army, 10000 tanks,
  12000 air force, 3000 ships
  INDIA-
  *RAJNIKANTH*
• Rajnikant’s daughter lost her virginity. Rajnikant found it and gave it back to her !
• What is that rajnikanth can do..that we cant even think of doin it..?! He can answer a missed call.!
• Once while playing Rajnikanth said “STATUE” to a person………Now that person is known as “STATUE OF LIBERTY”….
• There used to be a street named after Rajnikanth, but it was changed because nobody crosses Rajnikanth and lives.
• Once Rajni was having sex in a Fiat . A sperm escaped and entered the engine of the car …that car is now called Ferrari
• If Rajinikanth’s PC hangs, its time for the next Windows release by Microsoft.
• When Rajnikanth was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
• Rajnikanth doesn’t have bad days. Bad days have Rajnikanth
• Rajnikanth in IPL
  climax:
  1 ball , 23 runs needed for Chennai to win.
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  Rajni batting…
  Bowler bowls…
  Rajni hits…
  Ball into 4 pieces …
  All go for a Six!!!!
• My cellphone is full of Rajnikanth msgs
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  and now
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  I don’t need a charger!!
• What was the cause of recession in 2008?
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  Rajnikant lost his wallet!!!!
• Obama disappointed with his India visit……… He did not get an appointment with Rajnikanth !!!!
• Laughing Budha is the Japanese guy whom Rajni told a joke in childhood
• A 22000 ton
  56 wheeler truck once met with a head-on collision with RAJINIKANTH . .
  Since then
  its called
  TATA NANO. . .
• The Indian Government has requested Rajnikanth to restrict importing Bullet trains from China for using them as cartridges in his pistol
• Rajanikanth is the only person to have got nobel prize in acting.
• Even gajani remembers rajni.
• Rajanikanth can eat lunch before breakfast.
• Rajnikanth’s postal address: Rajnikanth , Madras
• This year’s RAJNIKANT award goes to …… Oscar
• Once acute renal failure patient comes to RAJNIKANT. After getting bored of his complaints, RAJNIKANT just says ‘sssshhhuu’ and kidney starts functioning.
• rajnikanth wanted to share his immense knowledge…….
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  and for that he gave birth to GOOGLE!
• Paul The Octopus was asked to predict when would Rajnikant Die …………….. R.I.P PAUL !
• If Rajnikant ever got caught for speeding, he’d let the cops off with a warning.
• Rajnikant can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
• Rajnikant entered Bigg Boss .
  Next Day,
  Rajnikanth chahte hai ki Bigg Boss Confession room mein aaye
• Once Dinosaurs borrowed money from Rajnikant and refused to pay him back…
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  That was the last time anyone saw dinosaurs…
• Rajnikanth once farted after a heavy meal…….
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  The gas is today known as ozone layer.
• Rajnikant was born on 30 February
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  Since then February decided not to give this day to anybody else. Mind It.
• Once, Rajnikanth told Nike to ‘just do it…’ and it did.
• Rajnikant can tie his shoes with his feet.
• Rajnikanth can whistle in five different languages, including sign language
• Rajnikanth can run you over with a parked car.
• Rajnikant is lovin’ it! – Macdonald’s new tagline
• Rajnikanth was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn’t make any sense.
• Rajnikant can squeeze orange juice from a banana
• There in nothing Rajini’Kant do.
• The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Rajnikant out. It failed miserably.
• Rajnikant runs until the treadmill gets tired
• Rajnikant irons his Pants with them still on.
• Rajnikant once wrote his autobiography. Today that book is known as “Guiness book of world RECORDS”.
• Once Rajnikant taught a kid how to open a door without ringing d bell. Today that child is know as CID inspector DAYA.
• Once Rajnikant was caught on the highway for over speeding… while walking…
• Intel’s new caption – Rajnikant Inside.
• Rajnikanths nxt project. Titanic in Tamil. Climax revised. Both survive. Rajnikant swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and… Titanic in the other.
• Rajnikanth added facebook as his friend.
• Basketball player: I can spin a ball on my finger for 2 hrs… can u..?? Rajnikanth: enna rascala… How do u think the earth spins…?? 🙂 mind it!
• Now…. Itz official…..
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  The missing piece of Apple’s Logo was eaten by.
  Mr. Rajnikant !! MIND IT…!!!
• Rajnikanth once entered a race he came first, second and third.
• Breaking News NASA closed.
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  Rajnikant bought all the rockets for diwali….
  Happpy Diwali !!!
• Once it was extreamly clowdy in china. then they found out that it was rajni who was smoking from india.
• Rajni in Tamil remake of Aamir’s Ghulam:
  Rajni runs on railway track.
  The train is now at a distanc of 1 meter.
  Now what??
  Obviously the train jumps off the track!:-
• Rajni was shot with a bullet. The next day it was the bullet’s funeral.
• Rajnikant is really mad about people making sms jokes on him that he is thinking of deleting forward options from every phone.
• Aishwairya rai to rajnikant: ek chutki sindhoor ki kimat tum kya jaano rajni babu??? Rajnikant: 0.000000078650000123478956 grams
• When Rajnikant signs in at Facebook, Facebook updates its status.
• Ordinary people say – GOD IS GREAT….God Says – RAJNIKANT IS GREAT
• Once a boy went to xerox Rajnikant’s photograph. The xerox machined got copied twice…

• Rajnikanth once wrote his autobiography…
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  Today that book is known as Guiness Book of World records..
• One night at 2AM in the morning Rajni gets a phone call saying, “Congratulation Rajnikant you have won the Noble Peace prize and an all expence paid trip to Bangkok.” Rajni puts the phone down, Mrs Rajnikant asks who was it. Rajni replies. “Some bloody telemarketing guy”
• Rajnikanth cannot work in a BPO (Business Process Outsourcing) Why??? because he himself is a process.
• Rajnikanth participated in 100 meters race and obviously he came 1st……
  But EINSTEIN died after watching that….
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  because LIGHT came 2nd..
• Rajnikant knows what came first, chicken or egg!!
• Alfred Nobel recieved the Rajnikant Award! 
• By the time Grahambell invented telephone, he had 2missed calls from Rajnikanth.
• What did John Logie Baird found when he invented television? Ans: There is Rajni’s movie already telecasting!
• Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love with rajnikanth.
• Rajnikaant’s heartbeat is measured in richter scale.